Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Sharing for the First Time

After a year of dealing with this trial for quite awhile, I felt prompted to share with my friends and family on Facebook what was going on. Opening up about this was one of the best decisions I could have ever made. It has helped me deal with this trial so much better. I was so amazed by all of the comments filled with so much love and support. Here is what I posted:

"I'm going to vent about something that has been very hard for Tyler and I... I haven't shared this with many people at all, but I feel that sharing will help us be able to cope.
We haven't been able to get pregnant. Trying for over a year, and not being able to get pregnant has been so hard - devastating. Tyler and I have been married for a year and a month on tuesday, and I'm sure many have thought we don't have kids yet because we are waiting. That's not the case. We desperately want a sweet child of our own. I've always been the girl that wanted 10 kids, plus adopt some, and be a foster parent all at once. I have a special love for children... And not being able to get pregnant with one has been hard.
This struggle is real, and hard. It's hard seeing others get pregnant so easily. Pregnancies are beautiful, but challenging for me to realize that there is a problem with me. It seems like sometimes, people just have to mention the word "baby" and their pregnant. Or sometimes people don't appreciate what a gift they have to be able to get pregnant. There are abortions, unwanted pregnancies, abused children, and it's not okay. I would gladly adopt all of those children if I could. It's hard for Tyler too. It's a struggle that we are both going through.
I know that as hard as it has been, we have faith that we will have children. We know that Heavenly Father has a plan.
We just found out recently that we haven't been able to get pregnant because doctors believe I have endometriosis. I will be having surgery in 8 days to fix it, and then hopefully soon, we will be able to have children! I am nervous for the surgery, but very excited. Doctors have told me recovery is 2-3 weeks.
We are very excited for this surgery, and so grateful for the plan Heavenly Father has for us. I know many people that have had problems conceiving. Just know you are not alone, and Heavenly Father has a plan for all of you. 
Thank you for letting me share this with you. It has helped me to tell you all, and not keep it a secret anymore."

Comments:

  • April Stanley Wyman We had this problem. ..it took 4 years to get pregnant with our 2nd and 3rd....I understand how you feel.. it became hard to see babies or hold babies or go to showers....You are in my prayers
    September 21 at 5:50pm · Unlike · 1
  • Jon Allen We will send prayers for successful surgery. We love you guys!
    September 21 at 5:51pm · Unlike · 1
  • Beth Overcash Yates · 18 mutual friends
    Bresia had this surgery a year ago and the recovery was just as you expect, about 3 weeks. I know this has been hard, but you know, Heavenly Father has a plan for each of us, and through faith, you will see His plan unfold for your family.
    September 21 at 5:57pm · Unlike · 1
  • Rebecca Bahr Continue to have faith. And you're more then welcome to come to Rexburg and watch my baby for a while. 
    Blessings will come to you and Tyler.
    September 21 at 5:58pm · Unlike · 2
  • Jacob Peterson · Friends with Tyler Hazelton
    Good luck!
    September 21 at 6:12pm · Unlike · 1
  • Ethan-Katelyn McLeod Praying for you Brendi! You guys will be such great and loving parents and you are so strong to share this  Best of luck with the surgery and let us know if there is anything you need!
    September 21 at 6:13pm · Unlike · 1
  • Tim Hazelton I went 12 yrs in my last marriage and my new marriage we tried for 10/11 months so I thought I wasn't able too. Keep your heads up and know that you will be blessed soon enough. Love ya guys.
    September 21 at 6:25pm · Unlike · 1
  • Osmar Alves Dos Santos Brendi, we are praying for you guys....
    September 21 at 6:48pm · Unlike · 1
  • Johnny Bowers My brother and his wife have been trying for years, and it's been very hard on them. I'm sorry that you're going through a similar situation. I guess all you can really do is put this burden in the Lord's hands. I hope the procedure goes well! I'll keep you two in my prayers.
    September 21 at 6:49pm · Unlike · 2
  • Amy Gray Johansen Hope the surgery goes well. We will keep you in our prayers.
    September 21 at 7:09pm · Unlike · 1
  • Jennifer VanWig Praying for you!
    September 21 at 7:16pm · Unlike · 1
  • Carol Mathews Gressel · 10 mutual friends
    I will pray for a successful surgery!!!
    September 21 at 7:18pm · Unlike · 1
  • Brittny Marie đŸ˜• Praying Brendi đŸ’•
    September 21 at 7:28pm · Unlike · 1
  • Stephanie Graham I'm sure after the surgery everything will be okay. Praying for you 
    September 21 at 7:42pm · Unlike · 1
  • Rachel Dusenberry Praying for you and Tyler! Hugs!!!
    September 21 at 7:55pm · Unlike · 1
  • Emily Bergman When I found out that I couldn't have children without a lot of medical intervention, I actually offered to Justin to divorce me. I was broken, and he wasn't. He had a child with his first wife, maybe she was a better woman than I was. I felt awful and depressed and pleaded with Heavenly Father that all I wanted to do was obey his commandment to multiply and replenish the earth. So difficult to understand why he was blessing those who were less prepared that I felt I was. I didn't understand his great plan. It hurt to see pregnant women smoke, teens pregnant, etc. It helped me learn a great lesson about his plan for each of us and to lean on my patriarchial blessing. I hope that your surgery goes well and that you are able to find peace with Heavenly Father's plan for you and Tyler. <<HUGS>>
    September 21 at 7:59pm · Unlike · 1
  • Laurissa Gecowets Brendi, I have Endometriosis, I think its more common than people think. The procedure is pretty straight forward. I've had it done 3 times. Laser removal and I have gotten a shot that induces menopause for 6 months allowing the extra endometrial tissue to shrink an disappear. You will do great, you might recover faster then me but plan to be out longer than 3 weeks. returning to mental tasks is no big thing but it it an abdominal surgery and so sitting up can be uncomfortable past 3 weeks. If you have questions, call or write me.
    September 21 at 9:27pm · Unlike · 1
  • Brendi Grace Hazelton I have been in tears reading all of your comments. You all are so supportive. Thank you so much. It means so much to us. It's amazing to feel all of the love and support that you all have for us. You guys have made it so much easier. I don't feel so alone anymore. Thank you. Love you all!
    September 21 at 9:49pm · Like · 2
  • Adam A. Goff You have friends who care. The Lord loves you!
    September 21 at 9:54pm · Like · 2
  • Andraya Goff Praying for you two 
    September 21 at 10:07pm · Unlike · 1
  • MikeandSarah Chapa One of the best things I ever did was be open about my fertility issues (PCOS) from the beginning. I find it be freeing, almost therapeutic to not hide something that is such a huge, often all consuming thing in my life. I'm sure you will find like I did that when you share people with similar issues seem to come out of the wood work and your circle of support will grow. And the best part is now you have all these people praying for you! I've had random conversations with women in stores that ended in them saying they would pray for me, people I don't know and will never see again said at least one little prayer for me and that still brings tears to my eyes. Who knows what the Lord has in store for either of us but let this be faith affirming rather than faith breaking, sometimes you have to fight for it but it can make you stronger than you ever dreamed. And I am always here to lend an ear if you need to cry, vent or rage. In the last 7+ years I've pretty much had every emotion there is so there's no shocking me  Love you xoxo
    September 21 at 10:41pm · Unlike · 1
  • Katelyn Phillips You and Tyler are such a strong and amazing couple..I admire your faith and perseverance through such a difficult time. Prayers for a brighter future..soon!! Love ya Brendi
    September 21 at 11:22pm · Unlike · 1
  • Brianna Joy Lund Awe Hun I'll be praying for you!!:) God totally has a plan and everything is in His timing!:)
    September 21 at 11:25pm · Unlike · 1
  • Kimberly Watson Markham Remember to go easy on yourself, recovering from any surgery takes time. Don't rush.  I hope you see positive results quickly!
    September 21 at 11:27pm · Unlike · 1
  • Brendi Grace Hazelton Seriously, thank you all for everything you've said. I really felt that I should share what we have been going through.. And this is why! Because we have so many uplifting, and encouraging friends.

    Some of you shared stories about the difficulty you had conceiving. Your stories are inspiring. It's amazing to see that you held on, and had faith and hope for so long. You all are such great examples to me.

    It's beautiful to feel all of your sympathy, and your compassion. All of these words of encouragement are making us stronger. I can see Heavenly Father using all of you to bless our lives. Thank you for all of your prayers. It really means so much to us. Tyler and I have both been teary-eyed reading all of your comments and feeling so much love. Thank you.

    I really appreciate all of your prayers.
    September 22 at 7:32am · Unlike · 1
  • Kasey Cassell I'm so sorry that you are experiencing this, I know that so many people are pregnant or already have babies so I cannot imagine the frustration & sorrow you feel. I promise that God will provide, he always does. just keep praying & have faith that he has a perfect plan for you & your husband. trust God's timing. I'll pray for you brendi!
    September 22 at 8:45am · Unlike · 1
  • Tyler Hazelton Thank you everybody for your love and support! It definately means so much to us.
    September 22 at 11:06am · Unlike · 2
  • Dallin Diehl Love you guys! I know how you feel seeing people around you have things come so easily, and taking them for granted. It's hard. I love ya and hope the surgery goes well. 
    September 22 at 12:03pm · Unlike · 1
  • Chelseigh Hunt Heavenly Father has a plan for EVERYTHING! And his timing isn't always our own! I can only imagine how hard it is, I mean I desperately want a baby too, and I'm not even close to marriage yet! But I know I will cherish being a mom even more when I become one, because I had to wait so long!! I known you will be the same! Hang in there sweet girl! I'm always here if you need to talk!! 
    September 22 at 1:41pm · Unlike · 1
  • Steven Myung Bless you guys. I love both of yall and am very proud of you both. Thank you for your good example of being a great LDS couple. 
    September 22 at 1:57pm · Unlike · 1
  • Chelsea Johnston · 38 mutual friends
    Best wishes for you and Tyler! I can't imagine the feelings you've been going through, but I admire your courage and determination. We definitely don't understand everything about Heavenly Father's plan for us, but I know he has some very special spirits waiting to come down and be your children  good luck with the surgery, Brendi! We will be praying you guys!
    September 22 at 4:41pm · Unlike · 2
  • Leann Saam-Stephens This test of faith will turn out to be your most treasured testimony. Our collective prayers in agreement with God's promises for us will result in his immeasurable abundance of favor and blessings within our lives. We lift you and Tyler up in prayer as you wait on our heavenly father of perfection to unveil his miraculous nature. He has a plan and it is good.
    September 22 at 11:07pm · Unlike · 1
  • Brendi Grace Hazelton Thank you all so much  

    My surgery is on Monday. Can't wait 
    September 23 at 11:36pm · Like · 2

Posted by at

No comments:

Post a Comment

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)